I'm part of a small group of artists that have banded together as a sort of peer mentoring group. We talk about our goals, our vision for our work, share business ideas, and challenge each other. It's full of awesomeness. These women are incredible and I'm so honored to be part of their group. :) 

So we had a painting challenge. It was to paint a self portrait that was a true reflection of you. I kind of suck at that. I've painted myself before, and every time it has been a very uncomfortable experience for me. I don't like looking at myself. I hate drawing attention to myself. In a crowd or group of people I prefer to hide, unseen and unnoticed. 

And a self portrait is basically the opposite of all of those things. It's all about ME. I mean, there's really nowhere else to look. Unless you like grey backgrounds, and if you do then. . . awesome.You've come to the right place. But, I digress.

My way around this is to typically hide part of my face in some way. Like the filigree mask above, or like this: 

So how then, was I to paint a self portrait that was a true representation of myself? I did what I felt most comfortable with. A partially hidden version of me. Again. Because I do think this is really how I am. I could go on and try to think of something really meaningful to say about why I paint myself this way. But I won't.

Because there is no real deep meaning to it. I just prefer to be in the background, instead of the spotlight and that alone says SO much about who I really am that there really isn't anything else to say.

'Grapelight' 5 x 7 colored pencil on Ampersand Pastelbord

Every time I do a colored pencil piece I have a series of conflicting feelings: 

1. (Infatuated beginning) "This is SO much fun! Why don't I do these more often? I can't wait to do more. I want to do a pony, and a puppy, and some glass bottles, and some orange slices, and some shiny ribbon, etc. etc. etc." *manic grin*

2. (Midway through) *sigh* "This is taking forever. I want to be done. Maybe I'll just call it done. No wait, I can't because I've already spent like forever working on this." *sigh* "And I'm all out of cookies." *heavy sigh* 

3. (Almost done) "Almost done! Huzzah!!!" *lackluster fist pump*

4. (All done) "I am never doing one of these again. Never." *takes bite out of cookie* *thoughtful gazing at finished piece which I'm very proud of even though my fingers are totally sore now from pressing so hard* "Well. . . maybe not for a few days at least."

In other words, it's something like this: 

This is G for grape in my alphabet series.

Happy Independence Day to all my American friends!! :D